The New Developer

New Developer Comic

[Image description: Three panel comic.
First panel: Girl with bright red hair in a pony-tail, flying a spaceship, pursuing and shooting at another spaceship.
Second panel: Same girl, holding a lightsaber and deflecting a blaster shot. There is a man in white space armour on the ground with a blaster burn on his chest, and a spaceship in the background.
Third panel: Same girl, back in the office, asleep on her bottom desk. The architect is saying "I want the new developer in my office in five minutes." Another developer whispers to a colleague, "I guess we better wake her up?"]

Charlie Hebdo

Charlie Hebdo

I was going to post a #JeSuisCharlie comic today (I even drew one) – but I thought a bit about what that would mean, and I decided to post some words instead. I was a word-smith long before I started pretending I could draw, and I think I’ll do a better job this way.
I deplore what happened. Let me get that out right now. I feel sad for the lives lost. I am appalled at the act of violence that was committed. I offer no buts.
I’m not Charlie, though. I don’t know much about the magazine, but I try to make my humour and art friendly things, and I understand that they do not. I’m glad there are people out there doing what they do, and I’m even gladder that there are other people out there who are staunch and vocal critics of what they do.
I’ve heard this shooting labeled an act of terrorism, though, and it wasn’t.
Terrorism is something which aims to strike fear into the hearts of the average person. It is terrifying because it is random and highly visible. This act was highly visible, but it was not random. If you want to avoid being shot in this type of attack, all you need to do is not work for a magazine which publishes material which makes fun of Islam. That, too, is an awful thing.
The simple fact is that this was an act of vigilante justice, committed by people who believe that blasphemy is a crime which should be punished by the government. The government failed, in their eyes, and so they took ‘justice’ into their own hands.
Of course, it’s not really that simple. Power structures and imperialism and war all colour this topic. This was also an act of war. France is not a nation friendly to Muslims, and Charlie Hebdo was a target with tremendous symbolic value.
The real problem is that the Western world is very hostile towards Islam, and the even worse problem is that they have a reason to be.
The simple solution, of course, is that Islam needs to abandon its teachings that apostasy and blasphemy and other such things are crimes. And, in concert with that, the Western world needs to abandon its enmity towards Islam.
It seems unresolvable. The Western world will not change while even a small fraction of the Islamic world holds onto these values: if there’s one thing the Western world has learned, it’s that even a handful of people can cause tremendous damage.┬áIslam cannot change overnight, and it will never compromise with Western values while it feels so attacked by those same values.┬áIf there’s one thing Islam has learned, it’s that it cannot afford to cave in to the Western powers which hate it.
I don’t know how we fix this, but I’m pretty sure that me posting a #JeSuisCharlie comic wouldn’t help.

Code Review

Code Review Comic

[Image description: Three panel comic.
First panel: Man and woman looking at a computer screen.
Woman: What is that?
Man: I’ve implemented a generic, threadsafe lazy-loading helper class!
Second panel: Same scene.
Woman: You mean like the built-in Lazy<…> class?
Man: Uh…
Third panel: A keyboard. The woman’s finger is reaching for the Del key.
Man: Well, as long as I’ve written it anyway…
Woman: Nuh-uh.]

Blocking Issue

Blocking-Issue-Comic

[Image description: Three panel comic.
First panel: Scene of a bottom desk with a PC on it. There is a cat lying across the keyboard.
Second panel: A man is standing in front of a desk, his arm bandaged. There is a second man sitting behind the desk. There is a plaque on the desk reading 'Architect'.
Man: I tried to move it. It went badly.
Architect: Just use the hotdesk until he moves by himself.
Third panel: The man is looking at the hotdesk. There is a water heater leaking steam and a small camp-fire in the room, and a red-hot pipe running along the wall near the desk. The whole room is tinged red.
Man: Oh.]

The CTO’s Apprentice

CTOs Apprentice

[Image description: Four panel comic.
First panel: Man standing beside a desk. There is a plaque reading 'CTO' and a box containing a wand.
Man: *gasp* The CTO's wand!
Second panel: The man is brandishing the wand, and his hat has become a wizard's hat. There are three clones of a different man carrying buckets filled with water, and two clones of a woman also carrying water-filled buckets.
Third panel: The man is standing on a rock amid waves. He is brandishing the wand and his clothes have become wizard's robes.
Fourth panel: Similar to the third scene. The waves are darker, the rock is gone, and the man is immersed in the water. His wizard's hat looks rather forlorn.]

Captain Meeting!

Captain Meeting Comic

[Image description: Two-panel comic.
First panel: A man standing in front of a meeting table.
Man: Thanks for keeping this a nice short meeting, everyone.
Several people, off-panel: SHHHHHHHH!
Second panel: Another man with a capital M on his jumper has burst through the wall. Pieces of the wall are strewn about. He has a briefcase in one hand, and a thick folder labelled AGENDA in the other.
Newly-entered man: NOT SO FAST!
Person off-panel: *gasp*
Other person off-panel: It’s Captain Meeting!

Working at Heights

Heights

[Image description: Three-panel comic.
First panel: A man is leaning against the side of a double-decker desk. A woman is reclining on the floor in front of a PC on the bottom desk.
Man: I heard you asked for a bottom desk. What gives?
Woman: I hate heights. Anyway, the safety course sounds like a pain.
Second panel: Three people are sitting on extremely high chairs, including the man from the first scene - he is falling off. An instructor stands in front of them.
Instructor: Welcome to your Working at Heights Certification Course. Pay attention! Anyone who fails is back to a bottom desk.
Third panel: The woman from the first panel is sitting on a high chair in front of a top desk. The man is standing beside the desk, looking forlorn.
Woman: I hate you.]

Project Planning

Planning Comic

[Image description: Two comic panels.
First panel: A team leader standing in front of a whiteboard divided in three. Yellow sticky notes cover the first third, while the other two are empty. Five developers stand facing him.
Leader: I've planned out the next nine months' work on this Kanban board.
Developer: OK, but we're all wondering... Um, what are we building?
Second panel: The same scene.
Leader: This is agile! We don't decide that up front.
Developer: So, all the tasks you've set...
Leader: We're building a framework!]

So many new developers…

New Project Comic

[Image description: Two comic panels.
First panel: A man in a blue shirt and a women in a green dress, standing by a water cooler. Both are holding cups of water.
Man: Why do we have so many new developers, anyway?
Woman: We need to build the CTO's new product idea.
Man: What idea is that?
Second panel: The same scene, except the man has just dropped his cup.
Woman: Nobody's really sure yet, but it's been selling strongly.]